Theatre review: Buyer & Cellar

So yeah, Barbra Streisand has a shopping mall, full of stuff she’s accumulated over the years, in the basement of her barn, complete with froyo and gift shoppe.

I’ll just let that sink in for a second, while you race to Google if it’s true. Spoiler alert: it is. And what is more, she published photos--that she took herself--in a 2010 book she penned called My Passion For Design. As if this hasn’t got you OMGing enough, this guy called Jonathan Tolins meets her twice and decides to write a solo play--Buyer and Cellar--developing a fictional shopkeeper that takes care of the mall. Nine to five, six days a week.

Thus begins the tale of Alex More, an out-of-work actor with such illustrious credits to his name as “guy in one of the shows at Disneyland.” From the obscure and bemusing job interview to his first encounter with the much-adored diva, and through to the final, inevitable end, we are taken on a bizarre and hilarious journey. A story replete with the tragic life story of a musical doll, the ominous mutterings of a housekeeper and forays into what it might mean to be young and in love, but married to Barbra...I mean the job. 

Such storytelling could easily end up a mangled mess, and broadcasting the production can further confuse. Not here. Suffice to say that whatever actor/director Jesse Gephart was trying to nail, he accomplished it in big, fabulous, starstruck glory! You could read this monologue on the page and decide that it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever; the fact that it made sense on so many different levels is an absolute credit to pacing, timing, humility (yes, humility), and the fun that Gephart is having.

All five characters voiced and performed by Gephart were distinct and legible. Modest but chic set design, thanks to Nathaniel Conti and Abigail Kuchar, helped illustrate scenes amiably. Similarly, sound designer Margaret Montagna and lighting designer Alicia Varcoe added nuanced accents to Gephart’s performance that accentuated the humor and surreal quality of More’s experience. 

So what makes this show so appealing? The standout performance, clearly. Maybe the truly awkward froyo experience with James Brolin. But also because Tolins, via Gephart, gently leads us into the true terror of what might happen if our daydreams were to actually come true. Who hasn’t put their head back and mused as to what might happen if they were to casually meet and then befriend Cynthia Erivo or Idris Elba? What if it went further and we became a trusted confidante, a mentor, their “go-to” person? What if, what if, what if… it all goes horribly wrong? That’s what if.

Through his brief, tantalizing, and then somehow increasingly intense encounters with Ms. Streisand, the story of More is one of being more Icarus than Icarus himself. Except the sun, in this case, is an aging diva with enough clothes to fill half a barn cellar. Really, truly, that’s something no one ever needs to come close to. -- N. Moeed